I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING BITING AND CLEVER TO SAY ABOUT THIS, AND THEN I REALISED THAT THE STORY IS SUCH THAT IT RENDERS SATIRE REDUNDANT


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SO HERE IT IS
Mary-Kate quits school December 12, 2005 - 12:12PM marykate Mary-Kate Olsen says her heart is broken. The 19-year-old sweet teen and multimillionaire mogul says she has taken a leave of absence from New York University to recover from losing her boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos, to her former friend Paris Hilton. Speaking to fashion mag W, Mary-Kate says she's not talking to either Hilton or Niarchos. "I've pretty much been with someone my whole life, so this is a hard time for me," she says. She needs a breather. "I need to ... read scripts and go on auditions, because that's what makes me happy. You know? "Like, papers don't really make me happy." AP
You just rest your poor little anorexic head, sweet teen, we don't want your neck to snap off. No-one expects you to like, be like, happy writing like, papers when you're a twin dealing with being alone for the first time in your nineteen years and all because of that bitch Paris Hilton who didn't even try to go to university and write really hard unhappy papers and look at what it has got her - she just went over and stole your greek shipping magnate after she lost her own [although she's keeping the ring, she's such a cheap tart] and you will feel so much better when you just go read a few scripts and go on auditions and maybe people might actually learn to tell you apart from your sister in ways other than you being "the anorexic one" and you and Ashley can step away from being those sister's who played one kid in Full House and then did some crappy movies and got rich selling a whole lot of branded shit at K-mart to the tween market.
It's totally OK - Your papers probably wouldn't have made anyone else happy either.


3 Responses to “I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF SOMETHING BITING AND CLEVER TO SAY ABOUT THIS, AND THEN I REALISED THAT THE STORY IS SUCH THAT IT RENDERS SATIRE REDUNDANT”

  1. Anonymous Helen 

    Heheh...reading this post cheered me up no end. Poor daaahling.

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