TODAY IS GOING QUITE WELL, ACTUALLY


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I am relieving at reception while the entire executive services branch goes to their Christmas lunch. Normally being asked to be a switch monkey would wound my pride but it’s actually very peaceful, the switch is computerised so I can connect people with a click of the mouse and no one from my own branch expects me to do any work. Most of the time I am in total solidarity with Helen, a welcome comrade in desk malaise. The front desk is very quite so I am finishing off my Christmas cards (must post asap!) and finding kindred internet spirits by googling nicole kidman hate and nicole kidman fug. Here are my top “Hating Nicole” finds I hate the way that the media seem to assume that everyone loves her when everyone I know can’t bear her. It’s strange that someone who you don’t know can evoke so much resentment (I hate that!). I hate her acting, particularly in television interviews and I can’t sit through a film with her in it. I’ve found women her age (my age) especially do not like her, but I suppose that is just dismissed as jealousy. Newspaper reports that she made Ken Allen, Australian Ambassador to New York, "shake" in the excited aftermath of meeting her, is diplomatically embarrassing. What is it with men and this woman? I hate this. Is her glamour persona as an untouchable ice queen irresistible? You might expect this daughter of a woman's rights activist to walk away from the Cruise split with a little more chutzpah. On the contrary, she seems never to have gotten over him. She has cast herself as a tragic frail heroine with a masochistic tendency that propels her to date all the wrong guys and court the limelight while declaring her need for privacy. Who can forget her interview with Parkinson conducted in a breathy girly voice. Coy and flirtatious, she could have given Princess Diana a run for her money in the wounded bird stakes. Nicole Kidman spent much of the last year, and possibly beyond that, with altogether the wrong hair color. With the crrazy blond hair, her fair skin, and her commitment to emaciation, she ended up looking either crabby or slightly unhinged all the time. Opinions were divided on this look; some thought she looked classy and ethereal, but I thought she looked like a deranged mermaid flapper. Until finding this photo, I didn't realize that all this time, Nicole Kidman has secretly wanted to kill us all and drink our sweet, sweet blood… And her freaky, nose job, Shirley temple hair even though she is a 38 year old mother of two ickiness is infecting others…. Naomi Watts, though talented and lovely, is not doing much to change my initial thought that she is basically Nicole Kidman II: Pale, Shy Aussie Boogaloo. The uber-blond hair and fair skin do not look as freaky and alien on her as they do on Kidman…
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I have just received this email from someone in the department who I do not know and who has sent this to the entire department:
Hi All Just to let you know that my 17 year old daughter and I will attempt to set the Guinness World Record in the 'Marble Playing Marathon' category on February 11 and 12 2006 at First Fleet Park The Rocks/Circular Quay. Proceeds from the event will go to The Fred Hollows Foundation (FHF) for the Indigenous Health programme they run with the Jawoyn people of the N.T. You are welcome to come down and play a game of marbles against me or Jenna at a cost of $25.00. If we win that money will go into the FHF kitty, whereas if a challenger wins, that amount will be forwarded to the charity they were representing. You will soon be able to register on-line at www.charitymarbles.com or just turn up on the day. Please note I am still ironing out some problems with the web site but all will be in readiness by the New Year. Their [sic] is no current record in this category so Guinness require we play for 24 hours minimum.
K. R.

::speechless::


4 Responses to “TODAY IS GOING QUITE WELL, ACTUALLY”

  1. Anonymous Ykw 

    Actually, i can't STAND Nicole. Apart from her high pitched, yet flat voice, expressionless face and pert nose straight out of Bewitched, (a triumph of casting there) what else is there? She's Australian and was once married to Tom Cruise, so of course she has to fill the gossip mags.

    Actually, she is better looking then Kerry Packer.

    but who isn't?

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